I lost my vision.
In a moment's time, I went from being able to see out of both of my big blue eyes to seeing out of one. I have had two surgeries to repair what they can of my left eye, and am awaiting a third surgery this summer. This should repair as much as eyesight as possible-hopefully it will be around 80%.
But it was during that moment, that one second that changed my life- I lost not only my vision in the physical sense, but more importantly- in the emotional sense.
I lost my vision. In life- as a mother - as a friend - as a person. I went from someone who thought they had life all figured out to someone who all of a sudden was standing there watching everything slip away. Not only could I not see the physical things in life anymore, but I also couldn't see where my life was headed. I had lost my vision.
It has been six months since that night and although only doctors can fix my eyesight- it is up to me to fix my vision. My vision on life.
As every teeny bopper, teenager, and Jersey Shore and Drake wannabe in America says- YOLO!! Although this phrase gets on the very last nerve I have, and I literally would rather scrape my nails on a chalkboard than use it- there is a lot of truth to it. You do only live ONCE. And it is up to me how I live it.
I want to be happy. I want to wake up every morning and go to sleep every night knowing that I am truly happy. That is not to say there won't be a bad day or two thrown in the mix, but happiness is not verb- it is not an action or something that takes place- it is an adjective- a feeling. It is a state of being. By putting a smile on my face and being thankful for everything that I do have as opposed to sulking about what I don't. I am choosing to be happy.
I want to make a difference. A difference in the eyes of my daughter, the eyes of my friends and family, and in the eyes of myself. I want to look in the mirror and be satisfied with the person that I am, so I try and live each day treating others how I want to be treated. I try to offer a kind word, a listening ear, a hug, a voice of reason to anyone that needs it. Everyone you meet is going through something, and if they aren't they either just overcame something or they are about to encounter it. No one gets through life unscathed, and it is not those moments that define you- it is the way you handle it, the way you bounce back, and the way you refocus your vision.
I want to have fun. Life is about the smiles, the excitement, the laughter, the fun. I want to take each day and make it enjoyable, and to find a reason to enjoy each and every day. I want to spend more time and energy doing all the things I love with friends and family than sitting there wondering what could have been.
It took a little bit of time, but I have spent months repairing my vision. Trying to figure out my place in life and where I should go. I have realized there are alot of things in life you can't control so I need to turn my focus to the things I can. And what I can control is my outlook and my attitude. So I am choosing to be happy, to make a difference, and to have fun in life. That is my vision.
I may not have my eyesight in my left eye- but I probably see more clear now than I ever have. I don't need my eyesight to have vision.
So here's my vision: You are given one life. Go out and LIVE IT. Take in the small moments, breath in the fresh air, enjoy long walks, engage in great conversation, ride that roller coaster you were always scared of, try new and different foods, travel. Do anything. But do not let life pass you by. Enjoy the ride because you never know when the ride will stop. Live each and every day to the fullest.
What is your vision??
YOLO-
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