Things got a little "sticky"

This weekend we were going to be doing a first with Charlee- Three long car trips in three days.  On Saturday, I had a wedding in Austin followed by a doctor appointment in Houston on Monday, which meant driving there from Austin on Sunday, and then back home to Dallas on Monday evening.  

Anyone else out there brave enough to take a one year old on a road trip?

One word of advice… Don’t.do.it!!!

Or if you are going to do it, make sure that the Friday night before you leave you don’t partake in two of your best friend’s birthday parties until 2:00 am… Ponytail, sunglasses and last night’s makeup for the win!!

Let me tell you there are few things worse than that one time you decide to go out “like old times” with your friends and wake up the next morning realizing the toddler in the next room does not care what time you went to bed- they want to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and do the hot dog dance at 7:00 am…. However, one thing that is definitely worse is doing all that and then hopping in the car for a 4 hour car ride with said toddler from the next room!!  This might be one of the closest things to legal torture I have ever put myself though (okay, maybe not THAT bad…. Maybe!)

Luckily though, I have the best kid (we all say that, don’t we), but seriously my kid rarely cries, loves to laugh, and talk… and talk…. and talk.  So the first hour or so was easy- no crying.  She slept.  I slept.  Grandma drove (and probably rolled her eyes at me… LOL).  But then Charlee decided she needed to eat.  And when my kid decides she wants to eat she means RIGHT.THIS.SECOND!   And of course right this second would be when we are in the middle of BFE.

Cue the legal torture.

Apparently my child decided that moment was the moment to see JUST HOW LOUD her vocal chords could get.  I mean when you go a whole two hours without eating who wouldn’t be THAT mad!?!?!  Luckily, a few miles later we passed a McDonald’s- I know, I know… Mother of the Year.  Yes, I feed my kid gluten, high fructose corn syrup, and the occasional french fry.  I ate it growing up and I turned out just fine (it’s called moderation and portion control, people) and if my child is screaming to the heavens and practicing how to bust mommy’s eardrums as fast as possible, then bring on the gluten….

Just.
Stop.
Crying.

I swear a Happy Meal box for a kid is comparable to a new Michael Kors purse for an adult.  The guy in the drive thru hands us the box and before she even tastes the food, the tears are gone. Gone.  And wouldn’t you know this same kid that was in hysterics just seconds before, was now laughing.  I swear she was laughing AT me, because she now knows how to get McDonalds. 

So I hop in the backseat so I can help her and to make sure she doesn’t shove all four chicken nuggets in her mouth at once.  Why do kids do that?!?!

All was good in the world again.  My Excedrin was kicking in, and Charlee was eating and playing with her two new toys- the little plastic Hello Kitty AND the Happy Meal box.  Once she was done eating I let her continue to play with her toys.

Put the Hello Kitty in the happy meal box.
Take the Hello Kitty out of the happy meal box.
Laugh and clap for herself for being so smart.
Put the Hello Kitty in the happy meal box.
Take the Hello Kitty out of the happy meal box.
Laugh and clap for herself for being so smart.
Repeat for the next hour.

She was entertained, and I just love her little laugh and how she amuses herself so I could watch her do that all day.

So we turn the radio back up, and my mom and I start talking when all of a sudden I hear Charlee whining.  So I turn my head to look at her and I see something ALL.OVER.HER. 

For the love of all things holy, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY would you put a sweet and sour sauce in the Happy Meal box without telling the parents?!?!?

I was tempted to turn that car around, drive the hour back to McDonalds and make the 16 year old guy working the drive-thru clean this mess (I mean that is what you get for having the bright idea to put sweet and sour sauce in there in the first place). 

And don’t be fooled.  Those little sauce packets hold a lot.  I swear, it looks like it’s not much- until it is all over your kid- her hands, feet, in her hair, and all over your brand new car seat.  If the car seat had a crease or crevice, some of that sauce found a home in there. 

It.was.everywhere!!!!

So I spent the next 45 minutes cleaning.  Cleaning Charlee.  Cleaning the car seat.  Cleaning the car.  Cleaning myself, because now, I too, was a sticky mess.

Luckily by this time we were almost to Austin, and everything was smooth (or sticky) sailing after that.

So- if you plan to take your child on a road trip, here are a few words of advice:

1.  Do not under any circumstances decide to relive your youth the night before you leave (save it for once you arrive at your destination- you will need it more then anyway. I promise).
2. Don’t stop at McDonalds- but if you are in the middle of nowhere and that’s all there is when your kid is hungry- make sure you threaten the 16 year old boy working the window that you will tell his parents he was out past his curfew the night before if he even so much as looks at a sweet and sour packet.

All in all, the weekend of car rides was fairly easy.
And let’s be honest… what is a road trip without a little excitement?!?